Hello again, my love.
I keep thinking about something tonight.
People always talk about meeting the “right person at the wrong time.” And I used to think that was just one of those stupid romantic things people say to make themselves feel better when something doesn’t work out.
But then I met you.
And now I understand.
Because how can something feel so right and still be impossible?
How can a person walk into your life so unexpectedly, make you feel things you didn’t even know you were missing, and then somehow… not be someone you get to keep?
Sometimes I wish we had met differently.
Different time. Different circumstances. Different lives.
I wonder what we could have been if there hadn’t been all these things standing between us. If we had actually been given the chance to find out what this was without an expiration date hanging over our heads.
Maybe we would have realized that we don’t work at all.
Maybe all this insane chemistry would have disappeared the second real life got involved.
Maybe we would have driven each other absolutely crazy.
But maybe…
Maybe it would have been incredible.
And I think that “maybe” is one of the hardest things for me to leave behind.
Because I’ll never know.
I’ll never know what waking up next to you on a completely ordinary Tuesday would feel like. What grocery shopping with you would be like. What we’d argue about. What stupid inside jokes we’d have after years together. What it would feel like to reach for your hand without having to think about whether I’m allowed to.
I’ll never know what us would have looked like in a life where we actually got to be us.
And fuck, that hurts.
But there’s one thing I do know.
I will never consider the time I spent loving you wasted.
Not one message. Not one lunch date. Not one kiss. Not one night. Not one stupid conversation, one laugh, one touch, or one moment where I looked at you and thought, How the hell did this person become so important to me?
Because you reminded me what it feels like to feel.
To want someone.
To miss someone.
To be excited when their name appears on my phone.
To feel seen, desired, cared about… and somehow understood.
You showed me a version of myself that I thought I had lost somewhere along the way.
And maybe that was your purpose in my life.
Maybe you weren’t meant to stay forever.
God, I hate writing that.
Because if I could choose, I don’t think I would be ready to let you go.
Not yet.
Probably not for a very long time.
But maybe some people aren’t meant to belong to us forever.
Maybe some people simply come into our lives, turn everything upside down, leave fingerprints all over our hearts, and change something inside us forever.
And if that’s what you are to me…
then loving the “wrong” person was one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to me.
