Hello again,
At least I managed to write to you here for another day — or annoy you for another day, haha.
I’m already lying in bed, listening to the rain outside and feeling the cool breeze it brings in, while thinking about yesterday.
Yesterday, you took me to the Sphere with you, and what can I say? It was so beautiful watching you explain everything to me. Btw, your knowledge is seriously insane! You were absolutely glowing, and I could see just how much you love your job. And I’m so grateful that you let me into your world and showed me that side of you. It genuinely feels really special to me.
sigh
And then, of course, there was that message I sent you because I simply couldn’t hold myself back anymore. And I think, in some way, I needed to know the truth for myself, too.
On the one hand, reading that you have feelings of love for me too made me incredibly happy. But at the same time, facing the truth felt so heavy, unfair, and brutal — the truth that this probably never would have become anything more than what it was.
As much as I might have wished for it… seriously, how naive can you be to think something like this could ever have had a future?
And if I’m being honest with myself, I think I always knew that.
We rarely had the chance to see each other outside of “the bedroom” and actually get to know each other in our “real lives.” Maybe we wouldn’t even have worked in that world.
And still, I wouldn’t give up a single second of what we had.
You give me hope that maybe there is someone out there who will see me exactly as I am. Someone who isn’t afraid to show their feelings, and someone I might possibly click with even half as well as I do with you!!
You’re actually texting me right now telling me that you’re watching our videos…
Hehe, I have to admit, I find that pretty fucking hot! And the way you tell me how hot you think I am… I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of that.
